Vroomm!!!

So I just came in from a brisk walk to the mall in my neighborhood. I had been home for most of the day and was needing for some fresh air to cool off and get my mind free of clutter. I was able to accomplish this task as I sat by the outdoor area of little Tokyo restaurant , sipping a bottle of cold Guinness and  looking over the almost empty vast parking lot area - the cool wind slapping relaxation across my cheeks.  That felt good.

What felt better however wasn’t the fact that I also could add good music from the radio of my phone  to the chill ambiance of my immediate atmosphere, but there was that lurking excitement  seeking release from within. The excitement from the fact that tomorrow, October the 7^th, I will be owning and driving my first vehicle - The Mitsubishi Galant (my many days of car rentals are over). This is a fact, more of a fact than any fiction ever to be told on this story.  If there were to be any fiction, it will be because I will leave out the specifics on the car for you own imagination to wander.

But I’ve often thought how sad it is that the Mitsubishi is so underrated and hardly gets enough ratings. In my opinion I think that the Mitsubishi is a classic brand that stands out any and everywhere both in design and performance. Most of all for its economy.  My car is a 1998 Sedan Super salon; an old car but a good bargain for its present condition.  But as I like to say: "despise not the days of little beginnings". At least now I get to go to work and back without the hassles of tardy bus rides. For the future I just might be looking at the Mitsubishi Evolution series or the Subaru or Chrysler brand... who knows. But for now, no more pedestrian moments, time to hit the road on wheels….VrooM!!!

The test.

They stretch me in more ways than I could ever imagine.

They stretch me in more ways than one.

Beyond the fibers of my being, I am stretched.

 I'm standing in the mirror
I confront the limit of my patience.

My will is tested.

Sometimes I cave,

Sometimes I bend,

But I stretch.
and grow,

and morph,

into something new;

Something beautiful.

Like a baby being born again.

Only to grow and ,
ready to be tested again.

The cushioning helps!

Communication, through writing, is that one art I have secretly craved to someday put a personal insignia on; that craft I could someday hold tangible and use as an instrument to impact a large audience toward the positive.  These days it would seem as though the dream eludes me; as though the desire and passion are fast faded. But Jeez! I am a procrastinator, and I must admit.

Have I been too afraid to be open? Have I been too cautious of my vulnerabilities that I became careful to thread on broken glass? If I would lay my thoughts bare on tabloid streets, would the shame be too much for a soldier to bear? Or would the fame carry along with it the coins needed to jingle my pockets? Lord I want to be bold- er. Tell it like it really is.

What’s been going on these days? Work, work, work, and a lot more work. And it kinda gets hard to focus on most other stuff other than work. The pretty thing about it is most days I have great colleagues working with. And on shitty days, just know I got stuck with the REALLY ugly ones. But I get through the days knowing that I would return to an ever accepting and non-judgmental bed. That cushioning helps, mostly at nights.

But I’m learning. Life stuff, academia stuff. Between those walls that hide the long work hours on our medicine floor; between the Critical Care Unit and the Step Down ward 7, there are vast droplets of knowledge floating the air. And some days, they could get toxic.

And yes, I wish I could still make so much time for basketball or movies or that much talked about 1 hour sitcom. Can't recall the last time I went bodybuilding at the gym. or maybe even the time to hang and catch up with friends over beer and escovitch fish. But these days I feel like I’m building something, and I can only ask the Lord for constant help - willing to go one day at a time, little by little.

Out here, its 12:31a.m and I would no more like to be a procrastinator. At least not for tonight’s sleep. The cushioning helps!