Give

Today I was reminded that there are different levels to giving.

 There are some persons who give from the top of their pockets;

and others, who would give from the bottom of their hearts.

 I reckoned also that giving can be easy when conditions are favourable,

but can be a little overwhelming in totally inconvenient circumstances.

But then, there is the giving that springs

In the presence of resources that are absolutely nonexistent,

Where the will to alleviate a suffering, or quell an impending doom

commands heavenly forces to the working of unfathomable miracles.

Write Something; anything.

Tonight, I decide to write. Even though I am not particularly certain of the content or direction of my writing, I draw inspiration form a recent Quora post which encourages the expression of ideas that are present within our immediate thoughts. And you know, that, if only I had been disciplined enough to communicate these thoughts, on a daily basis through journaling those many events that attempted to denude my sanity,  I might have inadvertently been perceived a somewhat intriguing personality.

However, tonight, happens to be one of such nights when I get to spend another 12 hours on night shift, patiently awaiting on dusk to dawn, earnestly hoping that we do not have a code blue for the shift. Usually the better part of the day begins to surface when the sound of "good morning" greetings  is echoed repeatedly across the corridor that adjoins our different wards; the days when Monday mornings aren’t met with such gloom and deluded misery; the mornings when the thoughts of a comfy bed is so very near to mind, and it becomes all so acceptable to sleep lazily away the late morning hours.

At this moment, though, the focus is to just write…  however directionless. write write write write write: like if  the lady Rihanna were to 'write' instead of 'work'? ha!

But I soon will have to get off from writing and get back to work, because in front of me are patients with a myriad of ailments, who need the special type of care that I will have to provide when the needs arise. And until such a later time when I find adequate extra time in my hands for a proper post, this is just to keep the blog alive and updated in a direction it chose on its own.

Within

She radiates glory like the sun's rays

Beams of bright light

That sweep away

shadows of wishful cravings

cast to the floor.

Her appearance was of beauty

and
in the congregation

of things ornate

they worshipped.

Yet she walks listlessly

Seeking earnestly

 to find the one

Who might recognize

 the gem within

To find the one

Who might

take the time

to nurture her soul.

The Strive to glory

Life is but an unfolding of events.

A second by second stripping away of time

as we embark on our willfully thought out journey

which culminates in an epitome of memory.

Inch by inch,

it would seem appropriate

that we, ourselves, be the protagonist

 in the realm of our own existence.

Such that when our stories are told,

 in the peak moments before the call,

the voices that echo our stories

may reveal to every hearing ear within range

 that, truly, every man

 is presented an opportunity

to strive to glory or fold in shame.

Doctor

She walked hurriedly across the passage way

as the soles of her shoes,

 hanging knee length away from her white coat,

stealthily greeted the pristine polished floors.

Her appearance was grim,

Yet, within,
was a placid soul that was almost palpable.

And to her,

 I said, 

Doctor;

In a world that is crushed with wounded minds and broken spirits

There are hearts lying over these beds

That have been touched by the rare

Type of healing you breathe.

She looked close
with a humble gaze

and held a smile.

Stay strong, keep moving (choices)

This morning I made a choice. I stopped by at the gym after work, for my usual workout routine. And even though the night had been 13 hours long spent, with the demands of patients that will put a strain on mental and physical wellbeing, I knew I had to do this because I had made this promise to myself, for myself- one promise I knew I had to keep, however hard.

And the work out was hard. Really hard. It becomes a little ironic when you put yourself through tedious work knowing fully well that you aren’t being forcefully mandated by any authority to be in that present situation. 

You could very well quit, but you are fully aware that your predicament is solely by your own doing, by the handiwork of your mental miscalculations – Mr stupid?  Squatting on a hundred and eighty pounds, benching on one-seventy, in an up and down rhythm that you wished you didn’t have to follow. The fibers of your muscles sore, pleading for mercy, when ego won't budge.

Yet quite very often we are told that hard work is the road to success, and that it pays. And while it's always good to hear popular statements like “no pain no gain,” the pain at present makes this feel good statement sound so elusive and, even deceptive at best.  

But eventually the truth is revealed in that there is a greater reward for the sacrifices we make today for a better and stronger tomorrow.

 

My hamstrings are still sore, and will probably still be for another few days. But I have learnt that I can find the boundaries between my strength and weakness, between my comfort zones and the battle field; to push my limits beyond the places I have imagined.

 That feeling is thrilling as much as it can be scary. But at then end, it’s all concealed in the choices we choose to make. This morning I made a choice; to stay strong, and keep moving.

Game of Thrones (Paying attention)

These days, I find that there is always a thing or two to learn from nearly every situation if we have our senses attuned.  It has been said that behind every challenge lies an opportunity; and Just like the diamonds in the rough, sharper blessings may just be bluntly disguised in utter disgust. Pay attention.

Tonight, I watched Game of Thrones as a late bloomer of the series - at season 5. And as grotesquely graphic the images appear to be -with all of the lewdness and irreverent decadence highly glorified in the pictures - there are still very meaningful life lessons embedded therein. There is courage and boldness; and the highlighted ability to face one's fears, strongly, even in the midst of uncertainties and inadequacies. More so, there is the hopeful reassurance of peace that is promised only after a fierce battle is fought. And many a time, life will be lost. But life goes on, usually.

For tonight I could sum up these lessons in just two words “John Snow” – a fine character of a man, whose humble beginnings foresaw little or no future glories. But as the bible would say, that even the stone that the builders rejected, turned out to be the chief corner stone.

Don’t get me wrong, I still writhe in disgust as I watch the gory spilling of blood as steel swords slice through human flesh. And though I understand that it is only fiction, there is still that reeling pain from witnessing a favorite character demise. RIP to Robb Stark.

Sometimes I do need a break from work; from the consistent negativity portrayed on the nightly local and international news. But through it all, just like in our modern society with all of the craziness bombarding our senses by the media in these recent times, I am learning to pick out the wheat from the chaff. I am learning to pay attention. I am watching Game of Thrones.