U: I remember
S: i guess its kinda hard to forget
U: it hasn’t been that long
S: more than a year
U: still not that long
i remember 1989
i remember when u was 9
when u were cute and fine
even though u still do shine
and get better in time like wine
but 1 year...hon thas not long enuff to forget
S: i guess i am fast...
if i move on in a matter of weeks
and a year is a long time to me
U: i guess
S: but ur right....
you never forget...
the touch...
the words...
the moments...
all strung together...
by fingertips...
like a tattoo... always apart of you
U: They stay
even when I don’t want them to
but I guess in the end, I get to see
they all were a part of the force that helped to pave the way,
So I deal it like math and let them all add up
I place them like a mason, building blocks of life
that someday I may behold a castle
Made up of walls and bricks from different places and maybe faces
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
I had a dream!
So last night I had a dream. This was not your typical Martin Luther kind of dream. This one I found weird, though revealing. In this dream, I had been hungry for a few days- actually I was starving – and I happened to find myself at some dinner function with lots of wealthy guests and a few friends that I could spot from the crowd. I was glad that at least I would be getting food. But it was disappointing to realize that when it was time for dinner to be served I did not have tickets to get me a meal. So I resolved to walk around my friends’ tables with my plate in hand, to solicit for a food serving here and there that might make me a complete meal. I was hopeful.
Two tables up, and I had gathered colorful vegetables and a bowl of chicken soup. Now, all I had to do was go across the aisle to my other friend and pick up two slices of bread from his table. But half way through my journey, comes some little kid - about 10 years old neatly dressed-who thought it fun to tip some vegetables off my plate. I was near livid, I gave him a stern look in the eyes, roughly grabbed his shoulders and coldly told him to better keep away, and go find his parents.
I still wanted my bread. I could see the table not too far now, just a few steps and I would finally sit down to enjoy this decent meal, and end the hunger that had plagued my stomach for days. I did not know I was in for a surprise. Little boy runs up to me in full speed, tips my plate over, and flings away the bowl of soup in my hand. I stood, stunned, in the middle of watching my plate fly free in air, shedding its content over the silk and cotton that covered some of the wealthy guests, and this little boy who still stood there watching me for my reactions. I stood confused between chasing after my food to salvage the little pieces I could grab before they dropped the floor, and the urge to smack the living hell out of this boy. But I was shocked at my reaction. For some reason I found the strength to ignore the contents that once occupied my plates, and take a closer look at this little lad.I could see in his eyes there was something that he needed. I held him, this time gently; and looked in his eyes, this time more warmly; and asked what the problem is with him. And the words that let out of his mouth put a jolt in my spine. He had been diagnosed with a heart disease and was going to die sooner or later, he finds himself alone many times, and had no friends except for a little 4 year old sister. His Dad was absent from their lives and his mother was barely coping. I was thrown aback.
Here I was thinking that my world was going to end without this one meal, feeling furious and agitated over the actions of a child, when these actions were actually calling for love.... And it reminded me of how we are so apt to sink into our own world of self pity and depression when things don’t seem to be going right for us, and we forget that there may be someone out there who may still benefit from our smile; we forget that from the little strength we still could muster we might be able to carry someone else through. I look back and reflect at the many times when I had been having a bad day, yet there was a colleague or a friend whose disposition warranted a smile, a hug, or even just a hello…Should I deny them that? I think not.
Recently I lost my sister. It’s barely been two months since she’s been gone, and I only just began to find the strength to be me again- albeit slowly. Two days ago, a girl in my class got news – in class- that her sister had passed away. I watched her cry helplessly, long hours, nonstop. Everyone came by to console her. I wanted to hold her hand and comfort her. I felt in me the urge to reach to her and tell her that her tears will not bring her sister back, that time would provide her a way of dealing with this plight, that she needed to be strong. But I knew this was a phase she had to go through. I knew the tears were necessary to be shed, and in its shedding would be the first steps to healing. I knew because I had been there myself. And so I whispered out a prayer that God keep her and provide her with the strength to get through this hard time, and said to myself that I will be there for her should she need me.
Our tribulations in life were made that after we’ve been through them, that we might have strength to help someone else with similar suffering get through theirs. And so we must always continue to find our strengths in every situation, however small, that we may be able to say to another "be not afraid; to come hold my hands and I yours; and that together we can make it through." Last night I had a dream, but this morning it is my hope that you and me may help birth this dream.
Two tables up, and I had gathered colorful vegetables and a bowl of chicken soup. Now, all I had to do was go across the aisle to my other friend and pick up two slices of bread from his table. But half way through my journey, comes some little kid - about 10 years old neatly dressed-who thought it fun to tip some vegetables off my plate. I was near livid, I gave him a stern look in the eyes, roughly grabbed his shoulders and coldly told him to better keep away, and go find his parents.
I still wanted my bread. I could see the table not too far now, just a few steps and I would finally sit down to enjoy this decent meal, and end the hunger that had plagued my stomach for days. I did not know I was in for a surprise. Little boy runs up to me in full speed, tips my plate over, and flings away the bowl of soup in my hand. I stood, stunned, in the middle of watching my plate fly free in air, shedding its content over the silk and cotton that covered some of the wealthy guests, and this little boy who still stood there watching me for my reactions. I stood confused between chasing after my food to salvage the little pieces I could grab before they dropped the floor, and the urge to smack the living hell out of this boy. But I was shocked at my reaction. For some reason I found the strength to ignore the contents that once occupied my plates, and take a closer look at this little lad.I could see in his eyes there was something that he needed. I held him, this time gently; and looked in his eyes, this time more warmly; and asked what the problem is with him. And the words that let out of his mouth put a jolt in my spine. He had been diagnosed with a heart disease and was going to die sooner or later, he finds himself alone many times, and had no friends except for a little 4 year old sister. His Dad was absent from their lives and his mother was barely coping. I was thrown aback.
Here I was thinking that my world was going to end without this one meal, feeling furious and agitated over the actions of a child, when these actions were actually calling for love.... And it reminded me of how we are so apt to sink into our own world of self pity and depression when things don’t seem to be going right for us, and we forget that there may be someone out there who may still benefit from our smile; we forget that from the little strength we still could muster we might be able to carry someone else through. I look back and reflect at the many times when I had been having a bad day, yet there was a colleague or a friend whose disposition warranted a smile, a hug, or even just a hello…Should I deny them that? I think not.
Recently I lost my sister. It’s barely been two months since she’s been gone, and I only just began to find the strength to be me again- albeit slowly. Two days ago, a girl in my class got news – in class- that her sister had passed away. I watched her cry helplessly, long hours, nonstop. Everyone came by to console her. I wanted to hold her hand and comfort her. I felt in me the urge to reach to her and tell her that her tears will not bring her sister back, that time would provide her a way of dealing with this plight, that she needed to be strong. But I knew this was a phase she had to go through. I knew the tears were necessary to be shed, and in its shedding would be the first steps to healing. I knew because I had been there myself. And so I whispered out a prayer that God keep her and provide her with the strength to get through this hard time, and said to myself that I will be there for her should she need me.
Our tribulations in life were made that after we’ve been through them, that we might have strength to help someone else with similar suffering get through theirs. And so we must always continue to find our strengths in every situation, however small, that we may be able to say to another "be not afraid; to come hold my hands and I yours; and that together we can make it through." Last night I had a dream, but this morning it is my hope that you and me may help birth this dream.
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