So, today, I did over an old song of mine which had been left resting for a long time, and it sounded really good. It had a nice embellishment that I believe came from time spent honing on the guitar. Some times of which I let go of the instrument out of feelings of frustration. Little did I know that these times were going to birth a subtle improvement in playing skill. I was hardly aware, but now I want to share.
I’m heading back into classes this week - tomorrow to be precise. It is a couple of months down the road till the end of undergrad. I feel worn already and sometimes torn. But I have got to press on; kick and push through this final lap. One thing for sure is certain, I will be needing to muster all of the discipline and focus necessary for a triumphant finish, more than ever. God, please help.
To think that I have started to harness thoughts of Grad school makes me wonder what kind of overachiever I’m trying to become. But I really don’t want to wait too long. I’ll be needing money,which means I'll have to work for a bit to save for some cash. Already I have a vague list of schools I’d like to send applications to. These I need to narrow down. I am still not certain of the choice to make as regards to area of specialty. My mind vacillates from between NP Cardiology to Public Health, and then to PA. Other days I feel like I want to just stay at a large university and teach undergrad and post grad. But that’s just typical me, being indecisive. If maybe I could wrap all of these options into one, I would be super glad - God, please help. For now, I guess I’ll have to take these steps one day at a time, and enjoy the happiness these last months here may bring.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
What's left
There is a smile on my face as I write. Actually, it is a smirk. I am not sure of its origin, neither its intent. But it rests smugly across my face. Perhaps it is from the proud thought of my attempt at writing again after a good long while; after a rigid semester with scrupulous final exams that drenched away all of my wit and left me dry, knackered and empty. For these days it feels like writing has left me. And on other days, I feel like nearly everything has left.
The semester has come to an end with finals written last Friday. Campus was empty at my last visit Monday. Students have left to go home for the break. The halls are empty, and so is the parking lot. But I’m here still, in my room. This pleasant room that has become my good friend over these years; always here waiting on my return from whatever voyage. A trusted and loyal friend I must say.
There’s a panoply of books neatly packed beneath my bed. A packed pile of textbooks, dictionaries and notebooks from the semester - books that constantly fed my thoughts the past four months. They too must be closed for a while now. They too need a break.
But this break will be short, for already there is less than a week left. Summer school resumes soon. And when it does, it shall be back to textbooks, dictionaries, notebooks, and a classroom filled with beautiful ladies who together with me will be writing papers and tests. And of course weeks of internship at the community clinic in Mandeville. This will be most of my summer.
This week, I have been catching up on lost sleep from the past four months. It is such a good feeling to know that I am waking up to a cold and rainy morning with no obligations or assignments, only the touch of a cozy comforter to keep me warm in bed for as long as I wish, and the soothing sounds of folk music.
Problem is I had to spoil this cozy comfort spin by accepting to tutor this lady in Biostatistics. A class I have to study for three hours in order to be confident at teaching a two hour class three times a week. The thing is I never really say no to cash offers, especially when I have time at my disposal. Or perhaps I just got tired, too early, of everything leaving. Either way, I’m glad this smile is still here resting on my face, however smug. For it is proof, for certain, that not everything has left. I still have writing on the one hand. And on the other, that strange ability to make even the most daunting task appear like sipping a glass of orange juice. To these I am thankful for His grace.
The eureka look that appear on a student’s face are my most gratifying moments as a teacher. And today, I was left with a little more than one.
The semester has come to an end with finals written last Friday. Campus was empty at my last visit Monday. Students have left to go home for the break. The halls are empty, and so is the parking lot. But I’m here still, in my room. This pleasant room that has become my good friend over these years; always here waiting on my return from whatever voyage. A trusted and loyal friend I must say.
There’s a panoply of books neatly packed beneath my bed. A packed pile of textbooks, dictionaries and notebooks from the semester - books that constantly fed my thoughts the past four months. They too must be closed for a while now. They too need a break.
But this break will be short, for already there is less than a week left. Summer school resumes soon. And when it does, it shall be back to textbooks, dictionaries, notebooks, and a classroom filled with beautiful ladies who together with me will be writing papers and tests. And of course weeks of internship at the community clinic in Mandeville. This will be most of my summer.
This week, I have been catching up on lost sleep from the past four months. It is such a good feeling to know that I am waking up to a cold and rainy morning with no obligations or assignments, only the touch of a cozy comforter to keep me warm in bed for as long as I wish, and the soothing sounds of folk music.
Problem is I had to spoil this cozy comfort spin by accepting to tutor this lady in Biostatistics. A class I have to study for three hours in order to be confident at teaching a two hour class three times a week. The thing is I never really say no to cash offers, especially when I have time at my disposal. Or perhaps I just got tired, too early, of everything leaving. Either way, I’m glad this smile is still here resting on my face, however smug. For it is proof, for certain, that not everything has left. I still have writing on the one hand. And on the other, that strange ability to make even the most daunting task appear like sipping a glass of orange juice. To these I am thankful for His grace.
The eureka look that appear on a student’s face are my most gratifying moments as a teacher. And today, I was left with a little more than one.
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