Hard days:

It gets hard in the field
Pulling thorny grasses
Making corny ridges
Slaving hard, serving to build
Finesse put to a test
Showing a compulsion to yield

It gets hard in the field
It used to be easy
Traveling on the road paved gild
O! how he thought he was skilled
These days it’s a battle
He fights, wearing a shield.

Last weekend: These days

Sunday 9:00 am
I’m sitting here in my room. It’s been a long weekend of sorting through school work and this health assessment semester project I’ve been putting away the past few weeks. I don’t have a choice but to finish them today, since both are due tomorrow. Don’t think me lackadaisical for procrastinating my work. It’s just been a lot of toil lately. I barely have time for myself. I look around at my room and I wonder what I’m turning into. I’ve never really been one for domestic chores, but these days get really bad: days old laundry calling out to me from the basket, dishes from last night begging to be cleaned. My room is in such a mess, reflecting a Kodak image of my many days of stress.

Typical day wakes me up @ 5:30am to arrive at the hospital for clinicals that begin at 7. Breakfast is a must when you basically have to stand the whole day. Lunch isn’t until 12. And it gets hard the days I get 7-7 shifts. Its certain I’m going home dreary and worn out. But sleep is never soon, you have to study. You have to go through your notes and look through the medical dictionary to find the meaning of all the strange words you’ve only encountered the first time. You seek to understand the mechanisms of action of your patient’s medications and why an alternate drug is given to counteract the adverse effects of the other, if there be any. Yesterday, you didn’t perform like you think you should, you showed a little nervousness as you tried to report your clients medical history and condition with your instructors and coordinators standing by, shooting questions at you with the sharp edges of an arrow that could maim a cow from a distance. And so today you resolve that tomorrow it wouldn’t be the same, you have to show them what stuff you’ve got. But somewhere near 11:30pm you slowly begin to drift into sleep, barely energy enough to do the dinner dishes. Some days you try, other days its goodnight until tomorrow. And when tomorrow comes, you already know how it goes. But I must confess, however, some days it’s not so bad waking up that early, with the thought of seeing the cute female intern on the MS ward again. The eye games and pleasant conversations we keep from a distance...in silence… hoping that someday, we just could bridge the gap.

2pm :
3/4 of the project is done, a slight feeling of freedom and pride starts to creep in. This would be a good time to do some house chores.
4pm: house chores finish, laundry washed, dishes cleaned. Lunch cooked. I feel good! Like like almost euphoric… but I still have to head to school to use the internet, upload my assignment and print off some pages.

8pm:
I feel euphoric, like I’ve been morphed into this coordinated and orderly gentleman. I got all of that huge pile of work out of the way, room feels fresh. Home cooked dinner never tasted so good.

10:30pm: sunday
So here I am, still writing. But I think I could enjoy the luxury of an early night tonight. Now I have to rest my fingers and hop on my bed. But first I need to take the last sip from my hot cup of surreal tea, and take the repeat off from owl city’s ocean eyes (They must be so tired of singing now)… Good night folks, thanks for staying with me today. I Promise to try to keep things orderly around here from now on (try I say)…catch you later!

December

Last night in November, one that I’d remember,
I lay in bed watching the stillness of the dark
That sits on the brink of December
Wishing for light from the one bearded in white and amber…

Winter winds whistling the sounds of joy and pain
Naked trees hoping for leaves to clothe them again
Some bleed, some feed,
Some to the slaughter, some filled with laughter

For after November comes that day in December
When the sparkling streets shall sing a song
The feet of smiling little children
Dancing to ho ho ho

Special

I know that you are special
Because in all these years
there hasn’t been another like you
somedays I walk amidst the crowd
and there’s many faces I see that look just like you
but just like driving on the highway
they disappear like the mirage they are
and I’m reminded again how you’re special and rare
knowing it’s the you in my mind causing me to stare…

I miss our walks in the park
And how we’d talk and laugh lengthy in the dark
The moments we shared that always lit a merry spark
Like dining at S.S or wining at O.J’s
Damn! I’ve been away for too long
But soon I’ll be coming back!
If I have to race the tracks or swim with sharks
This I know for a fact: soon I’ll be back
To see my special you!

She was gone!

Sitting alone in the stillness that envelopes this darkened room
I feel your hugs and touch, even from the distance
Soothing as it would when you were here
When we were bare,
skin to skin, bone to bone
The lonely nights when you were mine, and I your own

a distance flown, much feelings grown….
Its the end of another hard day
but here, still I lay,
Feigning for her touch
listening for her moan…
but really, in truth...
she was gone!

hold on...keep moving...

How to hold steady through the times
even when you can’t see a clear picture of the end.
Sometimes life beats you up
and you just get weary to keep going on
sometimes the troubles hit you hard
and though you want to stand strong,
it pushes really hard that you stumble and fall
but all you really have to do
is to get up, dust off the dirt and walk
keep moving, keep going.

Sometimes the picture of the end isn’t too clear,
it’s hard to see the way,
because the streets have been fogged
and vision appears blurry and fuzzy
you don’t really have to be in a hurry
just take the steps one at a time, slow and steady
follow the compass of the one that guides from within
the one who never leads astray..
the one who works together all things
for the good of them that love him.


He leads aright even in fuzzy vision
gives the strength to rise when we fall
and the fortitude to push against the resistance


How to hold steady through the times
even when you can’t see a clear picture of the end
is to hold on steady to the one
who knows the beginning from the end

Happy birthday!

These days roll by quite fast… I had my birthday on the 4th of October. Even though today is actually the 13th , it still feels like yesterday that I sat together with some of the world’s most amazing friends, cracking jokes, chilling, laughing and making precious moments that would etch deep within my memory… But the days have rolled quick. And since that beautiful Sunday, activities have shifted back to normal, with classes here and there; and the rigor of work that has kept everyone busy and separated… but regardless of the distance, in spite of the hassles of our NCU college life; these memories shared watching the Surrogates, sitting in front of Dominos with mouths stuffed full with pizza while laughing at jokes made on the bike man; will remain mine to keep, to revisit and to relive-- even if only for the pleasant smile I know it will always leave on my face…Thank you much guys!

Mom and Dad!

The words were simple
Train up a child in the way that he should grow
And he will not depart when he is old
And so hand in hand like a handbag you dragged me along
To the place of worship where the spirit flowed
And even though I sometimes thought them cacophony
You told me “shut your eyes and open your mouth”
Those nights my praying would start.

Turbulent teen years, exuberant adolescence
But still you stood, all night on your two feet
praying to the father to guide me and keep
never relenting, ever abandoning the comfort of your sheets

Many times there were when I wished for another
the days when you didn’t spare the rod,
and in pain I would shudder
not understanding that it was your love
aimed to keep me above and not under

And so I’m just glad that you are here among us, among the living
‘cause even though I travelled round the world
with all of the trophies and glories I’ve been winning
To God; to you I owe gratitude
And this today I am giving.


Thank you mom and dad!

let the money roll even in little beginnings

As I remember the bible saying “do not despise the days of little beginnings,” this seeming little accomplishment of mine, begins to acquire much meaning to me. Today (27-09-09) is my first day of my new job where I actually get paid in cash. Unlike all these other campus jobs I’ve been working that pays money direct into your university account—which you cannot withdraw cash, and can only use the funds toward tuition and fees-- this gives cash in hand and leaves me with a sense of earned accomplishment and pride in being productive… What is this job, you ask? I tutor students who are preparing to sit for the Caribbean Examination Council Exam in Mathematics. At the moment, I only have one student and we have lessons that run for an hour once a week. I’m hoping to get more students as time goes by, which would mean more cash…yay!

We had a good time today. And Even though, earlier in the day, I wasn’t so sure I could carry out this task as efficiently as required, it all flowed with ease the moment I put the marker to the board. I was more glad the times she would nod, signaling she understood. She even got most answers right from the exercises we practiced, which made me feel like such a good teacher. But truly, many times in the class my thoughts were running in the direction of “ let the money roll!”... And even though my ankle still hurt the whole hour from the sprain while I was teaching... and even as I write this…”ouch!”, my thoughts still remain “let the money roll” :-) And I hope I did not hear you just ask how much it is I earned??... silly!

Grey- My colour of hope

Grey-My colour of hope

Skies get grey I pray
Man grew old with the grey
little lad Barely smiled cause he was fray
But these tints of ash, always brought its gay

My colour of hope
The sliver lining within my throes
I get lost in the thick of the night
the moon’s grey always helps me find my way

Between the dark and the light
Within the black and the white
I sit comforted in grey
That shades the bridge of life’s despair

please come back!

I thought we were starting to be best friends:
Where did you go?
You were my pillar and my strength
My light and my shield
Where did you go?
Why did you have to leave without telling
Just when I was starting to make a friend I thought I could trust

I needed you
I told you how much this meant to me
But no…
You left me all by myself
When you knew I couldn’t go the journey alone
Now its all gone,
and we can turn back the hands of time

So while I sit here seething on my regrets;
I want you to show me that reason for which you left
That was more important than this one thing
I told you I needed the most

Today, I went searching for you at our meeting place
The place of worship, the one we call church
But I didn’t find you; I didn’t feel you
What did I do to chase you away?
All along I’ve felt you close by me
Standing tall and shielding me beneath your tower

But now you’re gone
And these days are dawned with horror
Tears stream down my face as I stare in the mirror
These struggles, they sting hard with a terror
Someone tell me, how am I supposed to be a warrior?

Some say smile for today is a blessing
But my heart is pained and all over I’m stressing
Emotions are bitter and life isn’t any sweeter
Lord could these all be a lesson?

I still need you
Please come back and fill me with joy,
make me strong and bold
For these days have become long and the nights cold
Teach me and lead me to a place of no sorrows
Like the days of old
Where you watched over me like you do the sparrows
That I might find strength to carry on till tomorrow…

Come back! Come back!

Please come back!!!

Beautiful beginning!

It’s the end of another day, another Friday that signals the end of another week-the beginning of the weekend. I don’t think I ended my week the right way, or begin the weekend right either…I still sink in my bad habits that take hold of me and cause me to do the very things I so badly want to stay away from…but the temptations come, and I indulge. The guilt pang sets in. Feeling derision for my actions, disdain allover within, I seek the face of God to wipe away my sins; to clear away the burden of guilt laden strongly within my heart. And then comes the contemptuous voice that reminds me of my unworthiness to seek His face; not in my soiled and desecrated state of mind. Again, I find myself lost in confusion. How did I get myself here? This very point that I so vowed many times never to return. O wretched sinner that I am, from whence comest thy help?…But then came the still small voice; the voice of the holy one within assuring me that I could come up and ask forgiveness because He advocates for my sins and that of others like me…and suddenly I feel an ease of burden, a lifting up of the yoke laden upon my heart… and even though I can’t always promise that I would not return to this dreaded point again- -that point of confusion that I can’t always control by my own will-- I promise to lean on His strength; the strength of the one who advocates for me; who’s there constantly to pull me up and through, all of the helpless state of shamefulness I so often find myself in. That even by so doing I come to acknowledge that only through Him can and will I be able to enter into God’s forgiveness and peace that releases the power to be effective in every aspect of my life… Finally I find the strength to let forth the words, “Dear Lord I’m really sorry that I keep letting you down, but I’m thankful that you’re always here to pull me back up. Please forgive my sins, and give me the strength to lead an effective life that brings glory and honor to your name… Amen!" Now I feel at peace, and can go to sleep knowing that my weekend has just been given a new beginning…a beautiful beginning!

Time to be you!... be an original!

You think that you are inadequate, incapable of being loved by just who you are, the way you are. You feel you lack the capacity to bring joy into his heart, a smile on her face... And so you be all the persons you're not; you do all the things that you won't. But it's all just a front. You do whatever it takes to jump the lake, swimming in the many mistakes of life we make....but now is the time to come awake from all of the fake you've become for their sake...now is the time to be an original. Search within for all of the beauty and poise that you possess and let it flow like a river that flushes away the muddy lake of the many mistakes of life we make. You've got what it takes to bring a smile on her face; the magic needed to break forth the joy in his heart...Now is time to be just you!

Fall begins at nights!!

Hey! I'm still here,though its been over three weeks since I last wrote. But yes, I'm here; working hard on my being consistent. What's new these says is the fact that school has just resumed for a new term and I'm in the process of transitioning from holiday mode into hardwork studious dude...It's not coming easy, but I believe it's a slow process. It's going to be lots of clinical practice this semester- the road I have to travel on my way to being a PA that begins with Nursing school. My instructor says we might have to work night shifts at the hospital sometimes, 8 hrs straight on... *sigh*... I know I can do this. Only thing is I'd have to miss out on my fav Tv shows Royal pain, Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy...But then, I'd get to be in the spotlight acting in my own show. So maybe I could tape me at work so you all can watch; see how much of a hit Tv series it would become :-). Any sugseston for the title would be gladly welcome...chobi's night shifts for starts he he!. But until my instructor puts out a roster for hospital rotations, I still have a few weeks to enjoy. Which is why I have to go home right now to catch Grey's and Royal pain...Catchya later!

See through the eyes of God

I was thinking to myself the other day how someday when I'm 65 I would get to come back here on this web page to read my blogs... What a huge grin I'd have on my face reliving these precious memories of the past, sitting with my wife and kids and hopefully grand kids, cracking up at all the funny and not so funny messages on these pages. My prayer, however, is that God keep me alive to see that day, and also that Google and blogger.com do not become extinct on the internet:-). It's just so funny how with the gloomy news that pervades the media today and all of the horrid events that occur within our immediate environs and the world at large, one is prone to live in fear and often times loose confidence in reason for existence. Pondering through these a little deeper, I start to feel that this is all a well orchestrated scheme to cause people to live in fear and thwart their faith--faith in themselves; faith in the power given to us by God to make a turn around in our lives;in our world. And so, I make a resolve not to live in fear, for the world is not coming to an end (O no! Not just yet, Ask me how I know... I just know); I will pursue my dreams and chase after my goals with even more enthusiasm than the average. For I believe this is the time to embrace our God and exercise the power of faith, patience, resilience and the fortitude needed to maintain hope and create a beautiful change in our lives and our world. My wish, however, is that you-that we-strive not to see the world as it is projected to us, but that we see this world through the eyes of GOD who created it and still supersedes all powers that be. Don't loose hope just yet, 'cause you are invited to be here with me and my family the day I turn 65!

home time

So tonight is Royal Pains the show with the Doctor and his PA Divya... That's another favorite of mine. As I've been writing this from campus its about time to go home. Its 7:35 pm and my show starts @ 9. I have a 2o minute walk home to make from school, and I feel the urge to make my special fritas for dinner tonight together with a hot cup of tea. Sometime in the future I could write down the recipe for this so you can join me in enjoying this decent meal.... One other thing that made me glad in the month of July was the fact that I had a baby... not literally, but my poems are like my babies. I suffered writers block the entire month until a few days ago when I was inspired to pen a new poem.This I thought I might share. I still really don't have a title for this one, but through the eyes of God would suffice for now:

Silence, stillness stretches a long distance
Thoughtless, breathlessly lost in a trance
Fluctuating emotions, mood swings
A mighty wind blows, head pinned on a pillow
His throes are lifted high in billows

Virtual reality, Pseudo abilities
Man in a rat hole; running a rat race
Caught in mouse trap; doing a tap dance
Chasing illusions; reaches no conclusions
See through the eyes of God; seek the solutions

Make that climb; reach high
One step at a time; limbs in tandem
Slippery slopes; a loud cry for help
On a branch called hope, he hangs midway
Heart is thumping; faith is not stopping

Silence, Silence; searching for his ambience
Chasing for knowledge; reaching for wisdom
Journeying down the street; the bitter the sweet
To weary to be swift. yet stomping the feet
See through the eyes of God; victory over defeat.


Poetry is an art that I have come to love, inspired by God to express my passions and spread His word...at least most of the time...I might promise to put up some more poems on here, but only if you promise not to steal and abuse my copyrights...but then, who can I trust?... we'll see about that!For now, it's home time.

Look who's writng!

I keep fighting these thoughts in my head telling me I'm supposed to come up with some killer insights to write on this blog to make it exquisitely interesting...But another voice within reminds me to just keep it as simple as can be...And this I resolve to do... I don't do Tv much becasue I think its just a bunch of rubbish aired to inflitrate and control people's minds and cause them to act robotic. But then I have quite a few programs that I wouldn't miss; with their airtime in my head like wings at the back of a bird. Every week day at 3 pm one of my favorite shows SCRUBs airs on Mtv for an hour. The past few days I tune in to channel 55 at 3 on the dot to find Mtv showing something else. I wait for about 3o mins and still the same crap!...How very disappointing. But luckily today somehow I turn on the tv at about 2:15pm to find JD and Turk lurking at the corners of the hospital ward talking medical mumbo jumbo...How relieving! My scrubs came back! Ha! Someone from MTv should have called to let me know they were shifting the time an hour behind. Anyways, good thing I found out for myself...

I went a little farther in Mr Limbaugh's the way things ought to be: quite an insightful book; these right wing conservatives kinda make sense if you look at at it from an angle, only thing is this angle can't contain everyone, so there'd always be disparity in views. I should find out if I'm conservative or liberal when I finish reading the book...But then, do I really care??

I came up with with a thought of the day while brooding over lunch. I'll share it with you: "There isn't much disappontment when we learn to cut low our expectations; marking the distinction between our needs and wants can guarantee us more satisfaction. Yet, there should never be an excuse not to exercise the power of faith in any circumstance"... Being hard hit by the recession, cutting low on expenses, yet still being happy and healthy despite seeming difficult circimstances inspired this thought. Now you might want to share this around!

Sluggish day

Day 2: started out pretty much sluggish. Staying up late at night reading through Rush Limbaugh's book made me really tired in the morning. Good thing I didn't have to observe my daily ritual of 6 am at the gym today. This gym which has slowly started to become a pleasant 80 mins that begins my day - or so i suppose, even though I know some ealry birds at the gym that may oppose :-)... as much as I enjoy the work out, I enjoy my bed a little more. It used to be so much struggle and will power to put an end to my many pleasant dreams and keep awake...But these days are better... Summer's slowly inching away, coming to an end. The holiday, I would say, has been quite pleasant... My ever kind and cheerful landlord does her best to ensure I have a good time... Sometimes I think she mistakes me for her son... We went together to the supermarket today and did some shopping, and she would offer to pay for whatever it is I wanted...as tempting as it sounds...I say no I'm fine. It just didn't feel good making the old lady spoil me like a little lad... So we drive home and engage in a little conversation over a bottle of beer... drifting from topic to topic...not that I recall all that we talked about, but soon it was time to go to my room, make my lunch, and get with the business of the day...

The best is yet to come

So I successfully wrote one post...didn't seem so bad after all. I believe these posts are supposed to reflect my true persona in the realest sense; the rivers of thoughts and motives that flow within my mind to give life to my being. well, I will endeavour to depict clearly and truly these thoughts on these pages and stay original the best I can. But where do we begin? from childhood days in the bustling city of Lagos Nigeria? Or to my tormentous days of boarding house in the remote village of Ogbomosho in Nigeria...? Boy this one thing I can tell you for a fact: I have come a long way to get to where I am today. And If i ever I'm called upon to give a motivating speech to a group of underdogs or to mentor a child grown in adversity, my words would be: use the power of your imagination, believe in yourself, seek to surround yourself with persons of high values and motives and let the truth in your inner spirit be your guide... The imaginable is possible! The best is yet to come, for me and for you!

first time bloggers

Blogging for the first time...Heard the word 'blog' a thoudand times, read a few, now I get to write mine. How cool. I just hope I can be consistent with this. But I'll try. My blog title says 'travel with me': through my journeys of life; the joys, drama, emotions, academia, social, arts, family and all... At the moment I don't even have a car so I do most of my travelling on foot, so I hope I dont wear you out before this journey is over...but if we look on the bright side I'd be buying my Range Rover after grad school, then I can give you a cozy ride through the smooth or bumpy roads, while we observe and bask in the serenity and splendor of our immediate nature. listening to the sounds of soothing music from the stereo... But in the meantime we could atleast catch a taxi in a bid to make our journey a bit quicker..or better yet we could drive in your car, I'll pay for gas :-). My name is Uche obi or Uchenna Obi - actually to me they both are the same. My middle name is Samson. However, not a quarter of my friends know this fact. Ask me why, I couldn't say. I go to university in Jamaica, earning a bachelor's degree in Nursing, and I intend to go to PA grad school right afterwards( which is a few years from now).

Welcome to my world, let this journey begin... but remember to grab your flip flops and water bottles for our loooong looong walk.