It’s the end of another day, another Friday that signals the end of another week-the beginning of the weekend. I don’t think I ended my week the right way, or begin the weekend right either…I still sink in my bad habits that take hold of me and cause me to do the very things I so badly want to stay away from…but the temptations come, and I indulge. The guilt pang sets in. Feeling derision for my actions, disdain allover within, I seek the face of God to wipe away my sins; to clear away the burden of guilt laden strongly within my heart. And then comes the contemptuous voice that reminds me of my unworthiness to seek His face; not in my soiled and desecrated state of mind. Again, I find myself lost in confusion. How did I get myself here? This very point that I so vowed many times never to return. O wretched sinner that I am, from whence comest thy help?…But then came the still small voice; the voice of the holy one within assuring me that I could come up and ask forgiveness because He advocates for my sins and that of others like me…and suddenly I feel an ease of burden, a lifting up of the yoke laden upon my heart… and even though I can’t always promise that I would not return to this dreaded point again- -that point of confusion that I can’t always control by my own will-- I promise to lean on His strength; the strength of the one who advocates for me; who’s there constantly to pull me up and through, all of the helpless state of shamefulness I so often find myself in. That even by so doing I come to acknowledge that only through Him can and will I be able to enter into God’s forgiveness and peace that releases the power to be effective in every aspect of my life… Finally I find the strength to let forth the words, “Dear Lord I’m really sorry that I keep letting you down, but I’m thankful that you’re always here to pull me back up. Please forgive my sins, and give me the strength to lead an effective life that brings glory and honor to your name… Amen!" Now I feel at peace, and can go to sleep knowing that my weekend has just been given a new beginning…a beautiful beginning!
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