Driving...into the wild, away from the night!

This past Saturday, I decided to go for a long drive, so I call my bud for a quick getaway trip on the road--the road that has become my peaceful place of appraisal and reflection. Feeling free like a bird, we do the 100mph in the direction of no definite destination. A quick glance out through the side windows, I feel the rush of chilly winds slapping across my cheek. I behold the gleeful sight of happy faces and pleasant places within the encroaching darkness that seemed to race along, speed for speed, side by side. But still, farther along the dark nights, within the thick tall bushes that intersperse this country scenery exist fallen architectural monuments, captured moments of faded smiles on the faces of both old and young. ……..For somewhere across distant lands is a girl’s 22nd birthday; her heart is merry as she sits luscious and pleasant like the cherry. Yet, somewhere not so far away is an island crushed in a disaster. A child cries; her hope dies. And just as fireflies to leap from walls, it’s hard to believe that this world turns slowly… the world that we live in.

But this moment driving through these roads, is the world that I choose to live in. My thoughts race through time, reflecting on the behind and before. Here, I imagine the possibilities of the things that could be… a sudden smile creeps across my face as I envision the ones that would be; that I would make be… It is soothing music coming from the stereo; songs that deftly niche its way through human anatomy to caress the marrows, and calm the nerves... and somehow I find myself singing along, relieved to know that despite the impending darkness, beyond the thick
jungle of despair that stares me back in the face through these windows, lay a light of hope waiting to be discovered at the other end. And if I would persistently drive through these roads of uncertainties, perhaps I might arrive home just in time to turn on the lights for a dark world.

Something I feel

I feel something for you
And though I cannot really explain or define it
I know it is here
It is something that lies in my heart,
That glows with light whenever I think of you,
That makes me want to ring your number
Just to hear you talk now and again.
It is something that makes me dream of being the angel
That watches and guides over you day and night;
Holding your arms; evading the harms.
I do not have a name for this feeling,
But I know it exists within.
And maybe if you came a little closer
You just might feel it too….

Where do we go from here...? Our eyes are on you Lord!

Where do we go from here? Where are we now?

Focusing head, with the sharp eyes of an eagle hundreds of feet above centering on a prey below, I believe the journey before is filled with beautiful and bright possibilities. However, I am not oblivious of the lurking challenges and obstacles that must be overcome. If only there were a 1, 2, 3 recipe for success (add, mix, and stair), a smile would be certain for each day of the year. But the truth is, between add… mix… and stair, are missing pieces of uncertainties and rigors that spark images of despairing outcomes in the minds of many, causing the heart to quiver and confidence to tilt on shaky grounds. But in all of these, we must resolve to make a conscious and constant commitment to stay on track against all odds…and never forget to add faith, which constantly fuels hope - the engine that runs the vehicle in a troubled and uncertain world.

I implore that together, we guard the heart, feed the mind; keep our eyes above and hands to work, and smile a little more in 2010. We did it in ‘09 not by our power or might, but by seeking God who brought us through. He's done it before; He can do it again…Dear Lord our eyes are on you!

Hard days:

It gets hard in the field
Pulling thorny grasses
Making corny ridges
Slaving hard, serving to build
Finesse put to a test
Showing a compulsion to yield

It gets hard in the field
It used to be easy
Traveling on the road paved gild
O! how he thought he was skilled
These days it’s a battle
He fights, wearing a shield.

Last weekend: These days

Sunday 9:00 am
I’m sitting here in my room. It’s been a long weekend of sorting through school work and this health assessment semester project I’ve been putting away the past few weeks. I don’t have a choice but to finish them today, since both are due tomorrow. Don’t think me lackadaisical for procrastinating my work. It’s just been a lot of toil lately. I barely have time for myself. I look around at my room and I wonder what I’m turning into. I’ve never really been one for domestic chores, but these days get really bad: days old laundry calling out to me from the basket, dishes from last night begging to be cleaned. My room is in such a mess, reflecting a Kodak image of my many days of stress.

Typical day wakes me up @ 5:30am to arrive at the hospital for clinicals that begin at 7. Breakfast is a must when you basically have to stand the whole day. Lunch isn’t until 12. And it gets hard the days I get 7-7 shifts. Its certain I’m going home dreary and worn out. But sleep is never soon, you have to study. You have to go through your notes and look through the medical dictionary to find the meaning of all the strange words you’ve only encountered the first time. You seek to understand the mechanisms of action of your patient’s medications and why an alternate drug is given to counteract the adverse effects of the other, if there be any. Yesterday, you didn’t perform like you think you should, you showed a little nervousness as you tried to report your clients medical history and condition with your instructors and coordinators standing by, shooting questions at you with the sharp edges of an arrow that could maim a cow from a distance. And so today you resolve that tomorrow it wouldn’t be the same, you have to show them what stuff you’ve got. But somewhere near 11:30pm you slowly begin to drift into sleep, barely energy enough to do the dinner dishes. Some days you try, other days its goodnight until tomorrow. And when tomorrow comes, you already know how it goes. But I must confess, however, some days it’s not so bad waking up that early, with the thought of seeing the cute female intern on the MS ward again. The eye games and pleasant conversations we keep from a distance...in silence… hoping that someday, we just could bridge the gap.

2pm :
3/4 of the project is done, a slight feeling of freedom and pride starts to creep in. This would be a good time to do some house chores.
4pm: house chores finish, laundry washed, dishes cleaned. Lunch cooked. I feel good! Like like almost euphoric… but I still have to head to school to use the internet, upload my assignment and print off some pages.

8pm:
I feel euphoric, like I’ve been morphed into this coordinated and orderly gentleman. I got all of that huge pile of work out of the way, room feels fresh. Home cooked dinner never tasted so good.

10:30pm: sunday
So here I am, still writing. But I think I could enjoy the luxury of an early night tonight. Now I have to rest my fingers and hop on my bed. But first I need to take the last sip from my hot cup of surreal tea, and take the repeat off from owl city’s ocean eyes (They must be so tired of singing now)… Good night folks, thanks for staying with me today. I Promise to try to keep things orderly around here from now on (try I say)…catch you later!

December

Last night in November, one that I’d remember,
I lay in bed watching the stillness of the dark
That sits on the brink of December
Wishing for light from the one bearded in white and amber…

Winter winds whistling the sounds of joy and pain
Naked trees hoping for leaves to clothe them again
Some bleed, some feed,
Some to the slaughter, some filled with laughter

For after November comes that day in December
When the sparkling streets shall sing a song
The feet of smiling little children
Dancing to ho ho ho

Special

I know that you are special
Because in all these years
there hasn’t been another like you
somedays I walk amidst the crowd
and there’s many faces I see that look just like you
but just like driving on the highway
they disappear like the mirage they are
and I’m reminded again how you’re special and rare
knowing it’s the you in my mind causing me to stare…

I miss our walks in the park
And how we’d talk and laugh lengthy in the dark
The moments we shared that always lit a merry spark
Like dining at S.S or wining at O.J’s
Damn! I’ve been away for too long
But soon I’ll be coming back!
If I have to race the tracks or swim with sharks
This I know for a fact: soon I’ll be back
To see my special you!