Mom and Dad!

The words were simple
Train up a child in the way that he should grow
And he will not depart when he is old
And so hand in hand like a handbag you dragged me along
To the place of worship where the spirit flowed
And even though I sometimes thought them cacophony
You told me “shut your eyes and open your mouth”
Those nights my praying would start.

Turbulent teen years, exuberant adolescence
But still you stood, all night on your two feet
praying to the father to guide me and keep
never relenting, ever abandoning the comfort of your sheets

Many times there were when I wished for another
the days when you didn’t spare the rod,
and in pain I would shudder
not understanding that it was your love
aimed to keep me above and not under

And so I’m just glad that you are here among us, among the living
‘cause even though I travelled round the world
with all of the trophies and glories I’ve been winning
To God; to you I owe gratitude
And this today I am giving.


Thank you mom and dad!

let the money roll even in little beginnings

As I remember the bible saying “do not despise the days of little beginnings,” this seeming little accomplishment of mine, begins to acquire much meaning to me. Today (27-09-09) is my first day of my new job where I actually get paid in cash. Unlike all these other campus jobs I’ve been working that pays money direct into your university account—which you cannot withdraw cash, and can only use the funds toward tuition and fees-- this gives cash in hand and leaves me with a sense of earned accomplishment and pride in being productive… What is this job, you ask? I tutor students who are preparing to sit for the Caribbean Examination Council Exam in Mathematics. At the moment, I only have one student and we have lessons that run for an hour once a week. I’m hoping to get more students as time goes by, which would mean more cash…yay!

We had a good time today. And Even though, earlier in the day, I wasn’t so sure I could carry out this task as efficiently as required, it all flowed with ease the moment I put the marker to the board. I was more glad the times she would nod, signaling she understood. She even got most answers right from the exercises we practiced, which made me feel like such a good teacher. But truly, many times in the class my thoughts were running in the direction of “ let the money roll!”... And even though my ankle still hurt the whole hour from the sprain while I was teaching... and even as I write this…”ouch!”, my thoughts still remain “let the money roll” :-) And I hope I did not hear you just ask how much it is I earned??... silly!

Grey- My colour of hope

Grey-My colour of hope

Skies get grey I pray
Man grew old with the grey
little lad Barely smiled cause he was fray
But these tints of ash, always brought its gay

My colour of hope
The sliver lining within my throes
I get lost in the thick of the night
the moon’s grey always helps me find my way

Between the dark and the light
Within the black and the white
I sit comforted in grey
That shades the bridge of life’s despair

please come back!

I thought we were starting to be best friends:
Where did you go?
You were my pillar and my strength
My light and my shield
Where did you go?
Why did you have to leave without telling
Just when I was starting to make a friend I thought I could trust

I needed you
I told you how much this meant to me
But no…
You left me all by myself
When you knew I couldn’t go the journey alone
Now its all gone,
and we can turn back the hands of time

So while I sit here seething on my regrets;
I want you to show me that reason for which you left
That was more important than this one thing
I told you I needed the most

Today, I went searching for you at our meeting place
The place of worship, the one we call church
But I didn’t find you; I didn’t feel you
What did I do to chase you away?
All along I’ve felt you close by me
Standing tall and shielding me beneath your tower

But now you’re gone
And these days are dawned with horror
Tears stream down my face as I stare in the mirror
These struggles, they sting hard with a terror
Someone tell me, how am I supposed to be a warrior?

Some say smile for today is a blessing
But my heart is pained and all over I’m stressing
Emotions are bitter and life isn’t any sweeter
Lord could these all be a lesson?

I still need you
Please come back and fill me with joy,
make me strong and bold
For these days have become long and the nights cold
Teach me and lead me to a place of no sorrows
Like the days of old
Where you watched over me like you do the sparrows
That I might find strength to carry on till tomorrow…

Come back! Come back!

Please come back!!!

Beautiful beginning!

It’s the end of another day, another Friday that signals the end of another week-the beginning of the weekend. I don’t think I ended my week the right way, or begin the weekend right either…I still sink in my bad habits that take hold of me and cause me to do the very things I so badly want to stay away from…but the temptations come, and I indulge. The guilt pang sets in. Feeling derision for my actions, disdain allover within, I seek the face of God to wipe away my sins; to clear away the burden of guilt laden strongly within my heart. And then comes the contemptuous voice that reminds me of my unworthiness to seek His face; not in my soiled and desecrated state of mind. Again, I find myself lost in confusion. How did I get myself here? This very point that I so vowed many times never to return. O wretched sinner that I am, from whence comest thy help?…But then came the still small voice; the voice of the holy one within assuring me that I could come up and ask forgiveness because He advocates for my sins and that of others like me…and suddenly I feel an ease of burden, a lifting up of the yoke laden upon my heart… and even though I can’t always promise that I would not return to this dreaded point again- -that point of confusion that I can’t always control by my own will-- I promise to lean on His strength; the strength of the one who advocates for me; who’s there constantly to pull me up and through, all of the helpless state of shamefulness I so often find myself in. That even by so doing I come to acknowledge that only through Him can and will I be able to enter into God’s forgiveness and peace that releases the power to be effective in every aspect of my life… Finally I find the strength to let forth the words, “Dear Lord I’m really sorry that I keep letting you down, but I’m thankful that you’re always here to pull me back up. Please forgive my sins, and give me the strength to lead an effective life that brings glory and honor to your name… Amen!" Now I feel at peace, and can go to sleep knowing that my weekend has just been given a new beginning…a beautiful beginning!

Time to be you!... be an original!

You think that you are inadequate, incapable of being loved by just who you are, the way you are. You feel you lack the capacity to bring joy into his heart, a smile on her face... And so you be all the persons you're not; you do all the things that you won't. But it's all just a front. You do whatever it takes to jump the lake, swimming in the many mistakes of life we make....but now is the time to come awake from all of the fake you've become for their sake...now is the time to be an original. Search within for all of the beauty and poise that you possess and let it flow like a river that flushes away the muddy lake of the many mistakes of life we make. You've got what it takes to bring a smile on her face; the magic needed to break forth the joy in his heart...Now is time to be just you!