I pray

So its just about four minutes before the New Year and even though I really do not have much of  a new years resolution , I remember the Lord God and how He has been faithful to me through out 2012. Indeed faithful and good He has been, and I am grateful.

And for 2013

I pray

to stay connected

 in mind and spirit

to anticipate a challenge

and the vision to see possibilities

I pray

for mercy and favor

for clarity and wisdom

and a heart that works for His kingdom

I pray

for strength and purpose

for love and grace

and calm in the midst 
of a troubling place

I pray

to have work and go to work

to work, 
and get good pay

and lots of happy days

 I pray

For growth and Increase

For family and for friends

  That they be blessed

 in health and strength

 and win against enemies

I  pray

That at the end of the year 

That I will be blessed immensely

and with gratitude return 

with knees on the grounds

Where in penitence

Again

 I  pray

We changed!

This morning I woke up to realize  

that with the new day that had come

that everything had changed

And the people too now acted strange

They seemed far-fetched from the way I used to know

Their language now differed

And even the leaves on the trees had now withered

Everyone had changed

The little kids have grown

And the calm infant who once was only learning to crawl

Now drove in screeches to the mall

Ah! I must have slept for very long

For even the birds now chirp with a new song

Everything had changed

Now, the rains fell a little longer

And the sun scorched even hotter

The seam of their dresses now straddled inches shorter

Exposing skin that could melt cold butter

They all changed
And by this I felt somewhat deranged.

But when I inquired in that room full of glossy mirrors ,

There were resplendent men who returned my gaze
Who also swiftly reported
That even  I had changed.

Solid grounds

And the boy pleaded... O! Old man, do not forcefully deny or deprive me of my craven indulgence.  For even when I by any chance end up in that state of extreme intoxication, perhaps in my sober state I shall reflect with a deep sense of remorse on my many mistakes, and boldly step on the path of growth… or yet, perhaps not.

But either way, at the tail end of the road, I would sing with an ounce of gladness to have been counted among those who once upon a time, were said to have truly lived.

And the old man responded: For a fool shall relish in his folly, and the words of the wise shall be gravely despised. But to travel the narrow path filled with thistles and thorns most often carries on to a blissful end.

And if you must carry out an act, then I beseech that you speak softly; listen hardly; and tread gently within the wild. For the beasts of the field approach fast, and in fleeing east the ground may become mire.

Alas! In a wailing cry for help, his hands are raised for a saving clasp, but his feet are deeply sunken.

Words I should have never said

Words I should have never said

Sharp as the sword’s edge

Cut through so fast her heart bled

Tears welled but she wouldn’t shed.

Words I should have never said

Little did I know how much she cared

Now she’d rather I was dead

With a gun she’d pull to my head

Words I should have never said
I want to take them back

I want to turn back time

But these words have been said

And the things that I most feared

That once upon a time
 she really cared.

Grateful!

Out here, my time reads a minute before 1pm…So in just a few seconds it would be 1pm. Time is always moving, and as the common adage goes, it waits for no one. But it certainly has proved to be a rewarder of hard work.

It’s a Sunday afternoon and I’m stretched in bed hoping to finish a chapter of this book I’ve been reading “Managing Health Professionals” by Micheal Nelson.  So far it’s been a good read. I just hope I retain the deluge of new information and concepts I’m encountering for my forthcoming board exams.

As I lay here I am reflecting through the years behind, how I made it through at college many miles away from family, alone in a strange land up until graduation. His grace must have been with me. I am much thankful. Life for me these days has taken a more laid back approach. While I still strive to maintain consistence at achieving my goals, I try not to fuss over things I have little or no control over. For truly I’ve been blessed, and I am grateful.

My Amee’s gone, and so her parents. My uncle Emmanuel was here but also is gone too. So it’s just back to same old me trying to exude all of my survival strategies that have sustained me the past years. But now it feels a lot better and easier, for they didn’t leave me empty. I’ve been left with memories of love and acts of kindness by these ones and the countless many others who He again and again chooses to send my way. And now I know truly for a fact that I am not alone.

Out here, the time once again has moved to 1:13pm. But these memories still stay, as I am sure they always will, certain without a doubt that I've been truly blessed.

And for these I give gratitude.

Delilah

She’s got the body of a goddess

A pretty face and a pretty smile

A striking statue of serendipity

Yet she could do much harm

With a mouth that spits balls of fire and venom

For what she lacked in intellect

She made up in beauty

She wouldn’t think much, but needn’t have to

Didn’t speak much, but didn’t have to

You spoke and thought for you and for her

But in the glistening glare of her gaze

Was the strength of her charm.

And if by any chance you were named Samson

She’d be your Delilah

Irresistibly she is envisioned,

Tempting is the mission

 there's an urge to flee
but you can't find the strength to walk away

you're locked in her warm embrace

And trapped by her sparkling illusion.

Alive!

For several months I have had some form of writer’s block, and somewhere deep in my daily thoughts sat the idea that perhaps my writing days were nearing its end. Today I realized that perhaps the real reason I have had nothing to write about was because I just haven’t been living life hard enough to gather experiences to write about. The past months have been saturated with an intense commitment to the walls of academia and working hard to attain professional RN status. Well, that’s about done now, and somehow I feel like there’s a release slowly filtering through my spirit. Maybe I can live again.

Today, for the first time in a whole year, I paid a visit to the gym. And I was reminded once again the huge difference between working out at a proper fitness center and the occasional improvised exercises I meddle with at home struggling with the little available time afforded me. I was also reminded that a good work out comes with a lot of pain. My left shoulder has gone sore, and I’m left to function with an arm and half an arm resting on a belt-sling. But yeah, that endorphin laden euphoric feeling is still the same. I feel like I can take on the world…

But despite my present handicap, I survived cooking dinner tonight with only a minor scald to the skin from the boiling pot of noodles… Not so bad now ey! And here I am, with a thankful voice in my heart for all of the things that He’s brought me through these past months... Tonight’s writing and dinner inclusive.

God be praised, I'm alive!

Woman

She’s got subtle eyes that peeks through your soul when she stares. Takes one look and totally understands you…you needn’t have to utter a word. She know.

And when she stands, she stands a woman…the kind that is worth waiting for. The kind whose tender touch is worth the sacrifice of a thousand damsels by the seaside bowing at the tip of their feet in your lustful worship.

Once upon a time, I met a woman.

Moments with Amee!

My Baba precious moments

And Guess who's teaching who the fundamentals of Fatherhood ;)

                                                       Hey Unc see what I can do

                                            Something for the teething mouth!

                                                         Come here you!

                                    "Uncle Uche has got a big head- hope he's got big brains too"

Losing my balance...

She had me losing my balance…
 But yet I stayed
 for her.

 Many long days,
 many cold nights.
 I withstood the fights,
 I kept her place

 Even
when all the others
wanted so bad to take it…
 it belonged to her…

I said.

 She had me losing my balance
 trotting down the long road
 where I could have strayed,
 but instead,

I stayed.

 In line
 hoping
that somewhere along
she would grab my hands and be mine,
and just that thought
made it all fine.

but now I’m tipping
 off …
off
my balance…
 and the only way I suppose
 I could make it stay,
would be to veer off ...
off her curb and stray ….
far far away…
For this I must do…
 hard as it may.

to keep my balance.

Thank you!

So I wonder to which I should be more thankful for…

For making the trip to JA to be the first visit I would be getting from home since the last 5 years ( If I could say); or should it be for the celebration of your marriage to the one I happen to think is beautifully kind, generous, and still simply gorgeous; or yet for the precious gift you both bore that daily unwraps as more adorable and beautiful than the days before…

But I suppose it was all in that magic second in which you made the cognitive choice to stop and say hello, excuse me miss, may I know your name…

And in this, for the provider of divine encounters; to the one who holds time, the heavens and Earth; to our God and Father above; to him I owe all gratitude and to Him I say…Thank you!

And after all the hassle...it's here.

For you...

And this you should know

Amee

That

I'll shape up for you,
I'll clean up for you,
I'll hold off and withstand
these temptations for you,

I'll be responsible for you,
I'll work hard for you,
I'll stay strong and fight hard
to always remain a hero to you...

for you little one,
I'll do these for you.

I'll pray long for you
and ask our Father in heaven
to keep watch over you
for when I can't be there with you

but know that I'll always
be here for you
through the good and the bad,
the happy and the sad.

For even when your skies get grey
with a hopeful brush in hand,
and upon the faith that I stand,
I'll color the clouds
to paint the days bright for you.

For you little one,
I'll do these for you.

Reversing the usual.

Recently my writer’s block has had the best of me. Even though there has been a lot of stuff occupying my mind, my thoughts have been very fleeting and fragmented and I find it hard to put together enough words to make a decent paragraph. There are the hassles of daily lectures and the struggle with remembering contents I read daily from the never ending pages of my textbooks. But the harder part of it all I suppose is finding that someone to share in my most vulnerable moments. I seem to keep losing my way to her.

Lately I’ve been having breakfast after showers and, just before going to sleep -quite the reverse of the usual. I spend my nights awake, trotting hospital wards to monitor and meet the needs of ill patents on medical and surgical grounds. I’m in the middle of another clinical rotation, and even though I’m very near the end of my program, it feels just like another brand new beginning. Perhaps I may have to do it all over again, only this time I’ll be focusing in Anesthesia. And I will.

It’s been a little over 5 years away from home, and for the first time in those years I’m getting a visit from someone from those times - an old friend. All week I anticipated the weekend when I’d get to see him and his new family. Soon, I’ll be hitting the road to Mandeville. But last night I’d never felt so excited for the weekend in a long time. And when I searched the reason why, for the most part, I discovered it was the thought of meeting an even new friend who travelled 9 hours and many miles in the sky at a tender age of 11 weeks to come see me.

Her name is Ameerah, and she is the special one who I’m most longing to see this afternoon.

Unchanged.

I’ve had my dark moments
My grey skies behind black clouds;
Walking lonely ways in a large crowd
But like forcing against crushing waves
I waded through them all
And still I stand, still I remain.

Humid seasons have changed
And wild beasts have been tamed
But if you asked me who I am
I would still say my name

For even after all the years
and all the things that have changed
There’s still a part of me
that still remains.

There's the gentle giant
caged within frail and fragile bones
Who wields my arm
and shined the light
The countless nights
when dusk sought to overcome.

Me and My Girls - last christmas

These little angels He sent my way the past Holiday...and I learnt a thing or two about fatherhood :)


sMothering Fathering...


Me and kena


Quick one with Mikayla


being Daddy to little girls on holidays, sometimes you have to stay up late at night watching Gnomeo and Juliet, until they fall asleep on you...


My Mikayla